Last Saturday, we saw that the dreadful xenomorph was finally born, thanks to David deciding that he was Dr. Frankenstein in space and to Oram’s stupidity.

So now, Daniels and the last surviving member of the crew are rushing to board the loader that Tennessee has managed to navigate through a giant storm so he can pick them up. At the same time, Walter and David, the two robots in this story — who happen to look alike — are fighting. Walter wishes humanity to survive, and David wants to destroy humanity for a reason the screenwriters have yet to clearly define.

The closest thing to an explanation we hear is that he doesn’t want to be a slave. But who said he was? Weyland? The old man’s been dead for years, and David has been alone to do whatever he wanted. And why does he think he needs to wipe out humanity to be free? He’s been “free” ever since Dr. Shaw was dumb enough to put his head back on his shoulders.

She should’ve kept it on a stick. I would’ve enjoyed that. It might’ve made up for the fact that he killed Dr. Shaw’s husband in the previous film. And what story isn’t complete without a talking head anyway—especially if it’s a bitter talking head.

Anyway, the two robots fight

And I’m sure the audience was just as quick to guess what happened next as I was. Walter ends up pinning David to the ground, ready to finish him off, then David bloviates while reaching for a knife, and the camera cuts. Hint: Walter didn’t win the exchange, not that anybody actually thought he would.

So David boards the loader instead of Walter. This is probably the oldest cliché in human history. If the Engineers really did make humanity, why would they rely on a cliché like this? I’m talking about the mistaken identity trope: the storytelling standby where two characters, for whatever reason, look exactly the same. Then the protagonist has to figure out which character is a friend and which is an imposter.

But most writers show enough decency to let the protagonist detect a problem and try to figure out the truth. But the writers of this lousy film have the gall to wait until the end to reveal this obvious twist, as if the audience is stupid enough to not put it together.

In fairness, this movie is a tragic prequel. It’s attempting to explain how the xenomorph came to be. David must board the ship, and must find a way to make sure the alien boards the ship as well. Fair enough. David, on some level, has to win. But is it too much to ask of them that they give David, this evil mastermind who has crossbred countless variations of the xenomorph, a clever way to board the ship without resorting to a lazy and overused trope? And if the writers simply had to use it for whatever reason, couldn’t they have tried a little harder to give David a way to trick Daniels and the others?

David cuts off his own hand

The writers did put in a little effort. They had Walter lose his hand earlier in the film, and David cuts off his own hand to deceive the others. But Walter’s hand was melted off, and David had to cut his own hand off with a knife, then cauterize it to make it look like Walter’s wound. I think Daniels should’ve noticed the difference between the wounds, despite David’s efforts. Another thing that doesn’t add up: Daniels and the last crew member were running to Tennessee’s loader while David and Walter were still fighting. I just don’t think David had enough time to switch clothes, match his wounds to Walter’s, then cauterize and bind his hand all before the loader took off.

I also don’t think Walter would’ve stopped to listen to David bloviate. This is a nitpick, but it still annoyed me. Perhaps this was because I knew what was going to happen—as did the audience. Lastly, the fact that David made a beeline for the loader without stopping to check on Daniels and the last crewmember should’ve been a tell for Daniels. Walter’s programming was to protect the crew; he should’ve been more concerned about them while they escaped.

The best part of the movie

Anyway, the three survivors board the loader, and Tennessee takes off. However, one more passenger manages to climb onto the ship before they leave. The xenomorph starts crawling around the loader, and what follows is a very impressive fight scene where Daniels manages to kill the alien using a crane. It’s the best part of the movie, no question.

After the xenomorph is killed, they take the crew member to the medbay and sedate him because his acid burns are extensive and painful. Then the characters are allowed a brief moment to grieve for their loved ones. This is probably the best compliment I can give the movie. Everyone aboard the Covenant was a spouse, so when somebody died in the film, the characters were losing loved ones, and the writers acknowledged that fact. I thought this was a nice touch, and I appreciate the film taking the time.

However, it isn’t much time, because soon Daniels wakes up to the ship’s computer, telling her that there is an alien lifeform aboard. Daniels and Tennessee rush to the medbay and find that something has torn the last surviving crew member apart. It looks like the facehugger had just enough time to plant an embryo inside the crew member before it was killed. I had mixed emotions about this part of the movie.

Alien embryology

On the one hand, it did answer the question of how long it takes for the facehugger to plant the embryo. It turns out not very long. And this addition to the lore raises an interesting point, something that helps explain the varying gestation rates in the films, which I’ve complained about in the past. Apparently, putting the host to sleep speeds up the process. This was why sedating the survivor was a mistake.

It’s hard to say if the same problem would’ve occurred if they’d put the man into cryosleep, but it looks like the reason Ripley and Purvis were able to survive so long while the embryos were inside them was because they were awake. It’s a small detail, but I appreciated it because the varying gestation rates in the alien franchise have really annoyed me.

But the reason this sequence gives me pause is that it suggests a way to tighten the script. First of all, facing off with two xenomorphs is a little redundant. Secondly, I really felt that given the timing of the events in the film, it would’ve been better if the crew had found Oram with the facehugger attached to him and had taken him onto the ship. The reason is that Daniels and Oram had a pretty nasty fight at the beginning of the movie and later made amends.

Plus, Daniels and Oram have both lost their spouses on this mission. These two events would’ve given Daniels a sense of attachment to Oram, and this would’ve justified her breaking quarantine protocols. The moment when Oram was killed would’ve been more impactful for her because she’d tried to save him and couldn’t.

Also, David could’ve used Oram’s situation to save himself the fight with Walter. The captain’s condition would’ve justified David joining the crew on the loader. If David had told them that his previous experiences with the various aliens on the planet gave him the best chance of saving Oram, he could’ve boarded the Covenant without the overused mistaken identity trope. I’ll cover what happens toward the end of Alien: Covenant next Saturday.

Here are the first four parts of my extended review:

Alien: Covenant (2017): A story driven by stupidity, coincidence. Nothing seems to happen as the natural result of a character’s choices, consistent with personality and motive. It’s exciting but the audience will likely notice the hands of the writers moving the pieces where they want them to go.

Alien Covenant (2017): When the prophet fails. Everybody trudges onto the planet in what amounts to hunting gear and they begin looking for Shaw’s ship… What’s the point of Daniels being the screenwriters’ prophet if the character isn’t going to even try to take any sort of action to prevent a disaster?

Alien Covenant (2017): David the malicious robot… returns! And, just in case we haven’t already suspected, David is lying about what happened to Dr. Shaw. Seeing that the robot is frighteningly apathetic toward the death of one of his crew, Oram demands answers from the faulty machine.

and

Alien Covenant (2017): Dr. Frankenstein in Space David, the robotic sociopath, turns out to have been breeding deadly aliens all this time. One example of the way stupidity appears to drive the plot is that characters who should not trust David seem to do so, with disastrous results.